I’ll admit: The song title had me worried. As in, what would we do if we found out that either of the surviving Beastie Boys was really into crypto? Or if they owned companies that built AI data centers or some shit like that? Doesn’t that at least seem plausible? Mike D is obviously a cool guy, but he’s also old and rich. With plenty of our aging gen-X icons, we’re starting to see the “old and rich” tendencies win out over the “cool” ones. It fucking sucks. Thankfully, though, this is not one of those cases. Mike D has a new song that is both called “Crypto” and about crypto, and I’m happy to tell you that it’s about how crypto is bad.

Next month, Mike D will become the first Beastie Boy ever to release a solo album. There’s a crucial…